Dating, when you’re a woman over 30, can be a nightmare! I know because I’ve been there. You have to have experienced it to fully appreciate it – the highs of dating someone new and fun and the lows when the person you thought was fun turns out to be beyond boring or borderline crazy. These highs and lows happen when you’re dating in your 20s too but when you get to your 30s, the feelings become exaggerated, possibly because it feels like there’s more at stake. In your 30s, the excitement of a new relationship seems more difficult to hide while the sadness of a relationship that has ended is very obvious and seems to permeate every part of your life. By the time your colleagues start asking you what’s wrong, you know you’re in trouble.
In spite of how bad one can feel when you’re in your 30s and a relationship ends, dating during that time of your life can be fun. I won’t say that dating in your 30s is more fun that when you’re in your 20s but it’s close and has a whole different vibe of its own. Honestly, I think it’s an amazing experience. There’s nothing quite like it. You’re less insecure when it comes to men and you have more money meaning you can go to the places you want and actually drink there instead of trying to get drunk on cheap alcohol at home before going anywhere because there’s no way in hell you and your broke boyfriend will be able to afford more than one drink at that hot new bar.
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Dating in your 30s has a lot going for it. You just have to put yourself in the right frame of mind. With all that said, here are my top 3 tips to enjoy dating as a woman over 30:
1 Know what you want
This is possibly the biggest thing to keep in mind when dating over 30. You need to know what you want when dating in your 30s and you have to be honest with yourself. If you really, truly want to get married, don’t try to act all cool and down with whatever with guys you meet. If you want to get married soon, make it clear within the first 3 dates. If he isn’t interested in getting married, he will probably disappear and maybe you’ll be heart-broken but at least, you’ll be one step closer to dating the right person for you. If you’re tired of trying to date someone who wants to get married and you just want to be in a happy relationship for a while, that’s cool. Just choose the right person. The summary is this: be focused. If you want to get married, date the kind of man who seems like they want to get married too. If you’re not sure about marriage yet, date men who fit into that category.
2 Open your mind
The best way to have fun while dating in your 30s is to have an open mind. It’s okay to know what you want from a guy but don’t put so many rules in place that you wind up not dating anyone. For example, let’s say there’s a guy who’s paying a lot of attention to you and you fancy him like mad. He treats you nicely, makes you laugh and has a job. But he is a year younger than you. I don’t know about you but, dude, that should not be a deal-breaker. How the person treats you and where you both see the relationship going is what is paramount. The fact that he was born a year or two after you? Not so important. Be more open-minded and your pool of choices when it comes to men will open up as well.
3 Take pressure off yourself
I’m not going to lie – many people will not approve of you dating in your 30s and they will let you know it. They will say things like ‘Why don’t you get married?’, as if you just turn up at the registry one day and the man you’re to marry will be standing there. All the negative comments from people can get to you. Even if you were trying to be cool about being single before, you’ll soon start wondering what’s wrong with you and what you’ve done to have landed in the box of ‘single older woman’ or ‘mature single woman’. However, to be happy and enjoy dating in your 30s, you have to take the pressure off yourself. Other people will make you feel bad. Don’t make yourself feel bad too. You have to find a way to ignore what people say and you have to focus on creating a life that you love. If that means ending another relationship because the guy claims he’s confused and wants to keep dating you and his ex until he’s sure of what he wants, so be it. Putting pressure on yourself will only make you more unhappy. Try to relax. Enjoy the process and imagine all the funny stories you’ll have to tell someday. One day, you’ll find yourself dating the perfect man for you. Until then, enjoy the dating journey in which you have found yourself.
My new e-book, How to Enjoy your First Year of Marriage is officially out! Plus, I have a special offer for you! If you buy the book before noon on July 12th, you’ll get its accompanying workbook FREE. You can get details about the book and also buy it here.