When those around you are getting married and you’re going home to spend the evening with your TV, it can look as if everyone but you knows the secret to finding love, finding the right relationship and settling down. It’s like they all know how to get love and are refusing to tell you the secret.
Of course, there’s no big conspiracy. People find love in different ways and at different times. Also, keep in mind that people getting married doesn’t mean that they have found love. People get married for all sorts of reasons. Some marry for love, others for money, some for security and so on; meaning that comparing yourself to others when it comes to relationships isn’t a useful exercise. While your goal might be the same as that of people you know – that is, to get married – it doesn’t mean you have the same reasons for doing so, thus your paths to will be different. Someone who just wants to get married will probably get married faster than someone determined to wait for the right person. Things simply happen differently for everyone.
If finding love is what you want, there’s one little thing you can do every day to attract that love into your life. That one thing is saying affirmations. An affirmation, in this sense, is a statement made in the present tense that says what exactly you want. It describes your desired state and serves as motivation. Think of it as a personal motivation statement. An example of an affirmation is: I am married to my ideal husband.
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How to create an affirmation
For an affirmation to work,
- It should talk about 1 specific thing. So a good affirmation is “I am now in a loving relationship with my handsome husband.” A not-so-good affirmation is “I am now in a loving relationship with my handsome husband and I now work for a multinational company 2 minutes way from where I live and travel 3 times a year to Australia.” The first affirmation is specific. The second, while full of goodies, is long and complicated.
- An affirmation should excite you. If you don’t really want to get married but keep saying “I am now married to a good guy”, it’s not likely to work. An affirmation should be a statement of what you want not what your mother says you should want or what your friends want right now.
- You have to associate the affirmation with positive feelings. You need to engage your imagination when using affirmations. Affirmations work best when you bring up the feeling stated in your affirmation while saying it.
- An affirmation should be stated in the present tense. This is a little trick for your mind. When you state your affirmation in the present tense, your mind sort of thinks it’s already happening and if it isn’t, you start subconsciously working to make it happen.
How to use an affirmation
- First of all, you need to write out your affirmation. Writing makes things seem more real.
- Say your affirmation to yourself several times a day – in the morning, in the evening and whenever you remember during the day.
- Always build up the feeling of the desired outcome of your affirmation in your mind when saying them. For example, if your affirmation is “I am now happily married to my ideal man”, imagine how you would feel when happily married to your ideal man and bring up those feelings in your heart whenever you say your affirmation.
- Whenever you get bored with a particular affirmation, change it either to a new one with the same goal as your old affirmation or if you have achieved that goal or just aren’t ‘feeling it’ anymore, you can create a new affirmation with a new goal.
Affirmations take very little time to create and even less time to say so make them a part of you daily routine and you’ll achieve your goal sooner than you imagined.
If you want to try using affirmations but are stuck on how to create them, I’ve written up a few love and relationship-related affirmations that you can use any time. To download your free love affirmations click here. (The link will take you to a form you’ll need to fill to get your freebie!)
Want to find a great partner who will make you forget the ones you dated in the past? I can help. Book a 1-on-1 coaching session with me and I will give you the key points you need to find your man. For my coaching rates, click here. To book a 1 hour one-on-one coaching session with me, send an email to me lape(at)lapesoetan(dot)com and together, we’ll get you on the path to finding true love.