Today, I’m going to be talking about a topic that I know a lot of people struggle with and that is how to make conversation with the opposite sex easily – even if you’re an introvert. This is something that is a BIG problem for many people so if you often find yourself tongue-tied in front of people you admire or have no idea how to start a conversation with someone you’d love to know better, you’ll find the tips I share in this video very useful.
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Now, I know about this topic because I am an introvert. A lot of people don’t believe it but it’s true. Many years ago, I had real issues with being an introvert and I struggled to make friends and carry on conversations with people. But then I did a lot of research and studied introverts and myself and I developed my own techniques that helped me talk with people and just be more comfortable in the world today. I learnt how to thrive as an introvert in today’s world that seems to be made for extroverts.
The techniques I used, I simplified them and that’s what I’m going to share with you today in this video. So if you’re an introvert, especially if you’re an introvert woman, and you want to learn how to make conversation with the opposite sex easily, then this video is for you and you should stay tuned!
So, if you want to make conversation with the opposite sex easily as an introvert, I have a simple formula for you and that formula is called S*P*A*. No, it’s not anything about the spa where you go to get facials done or even the supermarket. This has nothing to do with that. SPA is my own simple formula for helping you make conversation with the opposite sex easily.
Now, what does it stand for? SPA. The ‘S’ in spa stands for ‘smile’. If you’re an introvert and you want to make friends with people, the first thing you need to do is to smile. You need to learn to look into the face of the person you want to make friends with and smile. For many introverts, this is actually difficult but it’s something that you have to work on and you can achieve it easily. For example, if you find that you can’t look into somebody’s eyes directly, you can start by looking at their forehead and gradually taking your gaze down to their eyes. For people that find this easy to do, they can’t even believe that this is a problem for some people but this is a problem for many people.
If you want to make friends with other people, you need to smile first. And one thing I need to say is that if you’re a woman, for example, and you want to get the attention of a particular guy, if you smile at him, most of the time, that guy is going to come over and talk to you. It’s true! It’s human nature. So for many women, you don’t even have to do more than that. If you smile at the guy whose attention you’re trying to get, you will probably have him come over and talk to you. So remember that. That’s a really simple tip that any woman can use.
The 2nd step in my formula starts with the letter ‘P’ and the P stands for ‘Pay them a compliment’. So, after smiling, you need to look at the person you want to make friends with and find one simple thing that you really like about them and you need to go tell them what that thing is. Now this has to be a genuine thing. There is nobody in this world who can actually resist a genuine compliment. Well, there might be a few people but most people? They’re a sucker for compliments.
So just find something about the person you like and pay them that compliment. For example, it could be something superficial or physical like you like their shirt or you like their shoes or it could be something deeper like, you like how they talk, you like their smile, you like their laugh, you like how they make people feel. Whatever it is, think about it, come up with it and then go and meet the person whose attention you want to get, who you want to make friends with and tell them that amazing thing about them that you like. Almost anybody will be happy to hear that and will be open to conversation with you once you do that. Try it!
The 3rd step in my formula starts with the letter ‘A’ and that stands for ‘Ask them open-ended questions’. Now, what is an open-ended question? An open-ended question is one where the other person cannot answer with a single word. For example, if you ask a question that can be answered with the word ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘fine’ then that is NOT an open-ended question. An open-ended question, for example, is something like “What about your last weekend did you enjoy?” or “What do you like most about your job?” Those are questions that will require the person to talk at length.
Another tip related to this is that you should ask people questions about themselves. Ask open-ended questions about themselves. So, for example, don’t ask open-ended questions about politics or religion or things like that. Ask them open-ended questions about themselves because people like to talk about themselves. It’s true! We’re all really kind of narcissistic. We all really like ourselves. We all think that we’re wonderful so when somebody asks us an open-ended question about ourselves, we’re so happy! What we start doing is just talk and talk and talk. So that’s the 3rd step in my formula for you if you want to make conversation with the opposite sex easily and that is, ask them open-ended questions.
I’m going to go over my formula again for you really quickly. My formula for you if you want to be able to make conversation with the opposite sex easily is S*P*A*. The ‘S’ stands for smile, the ‘P’ stands for ‘Pay them a compliment’ and the ‘A’ stands for ‘Ask them open-ended questions’. You can see that it’s a really simple formula. Really easy. It’s something that anybody can implement – especially introverts and even particularly, introvert women.
Now, I have a little gift for you. Someone asked if people really like talking about themselves and I have to say ‘yes’. People really do like talking about themselves. Sometimes, you have to ask more than one question and you have to be determined. You have to be persistent. So stay with it and keep asking questions and you’ll find that eventually, the person will talk about something that they really like. Sometimes, it’s about their children, sometimes it’s about their work, sometimes it’s about their art. Whatever it is, people like talking about themselves and the things they do. Just find what that particular subject is and ask them about it.
Like I said earlier, I have a little gift for you. It’s a mini e-book I prepared on how to make conversation easily with the opposite sex even if you’re an introvert and you can get it free. To get it, go to www.bitly.com/conversationbylape I’ll put the link to the PDF in the comments below so you can get it. I hope you enjoyed this video. Please share it with your friends and subscribe to my YouTube channel. You can find my YouTube channel by going to www.youtube.com/lapesoetan I hope this video was really useful for you. Remember to download the free PDF and I’ll see you again next time. Bye!