Learning from other people’s mistakes or their experience is an absolute blessing, especially when it comes to relationships. It saves you time and a lot of heartache. So today, I’m going to be talking about the biggest lessons I’ve learned from past relationships as well as the biggest and commonest lessons that I’ve seen women learn from their own past relationships which I’ve come across in my line of work as a relationship coach for single women over the age of 30. Now, let’s begin!
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One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from past relationships is NOT to date someone simply because they like you. I get it. It can be incredibly flattering when somebody says they like you, especially when they go out of their way to do things for you. But the thing is, if you don’t like someone, you don’t like them.
The thing about dating somebody that likes you who you don’t like is that there’s a tendency for you to treat them badly which is never a good idea because in this world, what you give is what you’ll get back. Fine, you might not get back what you’re dishing out from that person but you’ll definitely get it back from someone else so, you have to be careful.
Another possibility when you date someone that you don’t really like is that when they misbehave, you feel very very stupid. It’s like you feel…just so silly as if you’ve let yourself down. It’s like you’re thinking, “Okay. I’m actually doing you a favour by dating you and this is how you treat me?” You feel dumb and you can feel trapped at the same time because you feel like you’re already in this relationship and you can’t get out. Avoid getting into that situation by not dating somebody just because they like you.
Another lesson learned from past relationships is that if you have a strong feeling that someone is cheating on you, they probably are. In addition to that, if anyone you trust or a friend tells you that your man is cheating, he probably is. Now, I’m not saying that you should immediately go and do something about this. Don’t do anything rash but definitely look for proof. Cheating doesn’t necessarily mean that a relationship should end but it definitely means that that relationship needs repair.
What I’m saying here is that if people you trust tell you that your man is cheating, don’t just bury your head in the sand or immediately accuse them of lying to you. If these are people that you trust, they probably have your best interest at heart and wouldn’t deliberately try to hurt you so keep your eyes open.
Possibly one of the biggest lessons learned from past relationships is that if you feel uncomfortable about the guy at the beginning, you should listen to that feeling and not go into that relationship. There have been many situations in which a woman felt uncomfortable about a guy – perhaps he asked for a loan early in the relationship or he has an unusually large number of female friends or he slapped you or he doesn’t take your calls after a certain time of day.
Whatever it is, there have been things like that that women felt uncomfortable with but they ignored that uncomfortable feeling and went into the relationship only to discover that the guy was sponging off them, was a player, was violent or married. And sometimes, by that stage, the woman feels that she’s far too gone in a relationship to back out of it.
By the way, there’s never a time when you’re too far gone in a relationship to back out but that is a topic for another day. The point right now is to learn from other women’s experiences, other women’s mistakes. If a guy makes you feel deeply uncomfortable at the beginning of a relationship, that feeling is not going to go away. Listen to it.
I hope you found this video useful. If you want more love and relationship tips from me that isn’t here on my channel, listen to my podcast. You can listen to my podcast by clicking here.
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