Most people don’t believe that they can get their fantasy relationship or their ideal relationship but actually, they can and that’s what this video is about. Today, I’m going to be talking about how to get the relationship that you want.
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In case you’ve never come across me before, hi my name is Lape Soetan and I’m a relationship coach for single women over the age of 30. I help single women over the age of 30 attract and keep the right man for them. On my YouTube channel, I tend to talk about love, relationships, men, dating, self-esteem and things like that, so if you’re interested in any of those topics, please subscribe to my channel. You can subscribe by clicking here. After you subscribe, please click on the bell that you’ll see there so that when new videos of mine come out, you’ll be the first to know about them.
Like I said earlier, today I’m going to be talking about how to get the relationship that you want. The 1st thing you need to do in order to get the relationship that you want is to visualise. This means actively imagining what it is that you want your ideal relationship to be like and being honest with yourself. Let me give an example.
There are some women who don’t want to work in their ideal relationship. In their ideal relationships, they are stay-at-home mums or they just stay at home. Their husband is very rich and is happy to give them as much money as they want. So they’re happy like that but the thing is that when they’re visualising, they don’t see themselves like that. In their visualisations, they see themselves waking up in the morning, dressing up and going to an office.
When they visualise like that, the result is that they are less likely to get the ideal relationship that they want. They’re visualising this thing that they think that society wants them to have or they think that they should have instead of visualising what exactly they want deep down inside their hearts. When you’re visualising, be completely honest with yourself. That is the way that you’re going to get the relationship that you really want, the relationship that you fantasise about.
The 2nd thing you need to do in order to get the relationship that you fantasise about is to stop dating people who are not like the person you have about. Let’s take the woman I gave in my earlier example.
This woman is a woman who visualise that in her ideal relationship, she’s a stay-at-home mum. However, she keeps coming across guys who want their wives to work. These men are cute, hardworking and everything like that but their idea of their ideal wife is different from this lady’s idea of being an ideal wife. What she should do is to give those men a miss. She shouldn’t even bother to date them.
But if this woman is like many women, she might actually date those men in the hope that when she marries them, she will actually enjoy going out to work or she hopes that when she marries them, the men won’t mind that she starts staying at home and becomes a stay-at-home wife. Doing either those things would be a recipe for disaster. Her relationships with those guys will never turn into marriage or even if one of those relationships does turn into marriage, it would be a very unhappy one. Only date people who resemble the person in your visualisations of your ideal relationship in order to get that fantasy relationship that you want.
The 3rd thing you need in order to get the ideal relationship that you want is to be patient. We human beings, as a rule, are impatient. We want everything yesterday and we often apply that in our search for the ideal person or the ideal relationship as well.
Patience is something that we have to train ourselves to have. Women who want to get married and have children are often more impatient than others because the truth is that women can’t have children as easily as men can later in life. The result is that women tend to want to quickly get married or quickly get into a relationship so that they can then quickly have children.
Unfortunately, when you try to speed things up like that, the result is that you don’t get the fantasy relationship that you want. This is an imperfect world. There’s no guarantee that you’ll be in your fantasy relationship by 26 and that you would have had all your children by 32, for example. This is real life. It doesn’t always happen exactly how we want it to happen.
You have to decide what is most important to you in this life. It’s like a real-life example of opportunity-cost like we learnt in economics class when we were in secondary school. The result of opportunity cost is that often, when you choose something, it means that you lose something else.
For example, it could mean that you choose to go into a relationship that is just okay so that you can have children. But then the result is that you have the children that you wanted but you don’t have the ideal relationship that you wanted. Or it could be that you go into this relationship, you have the children that you wanted but because the relationship was just okay and you were never really interested in it, the relationship ends in divorce.
After the divorce, then you find that you meet the person who gives you the ideal relationship you wanted. It then turns out that while you’re in this ideal relationship, it means that you’re also a divorcee. So you see that you can’t always have everything.
Sometimes, what happens is that you wait and wait and wait and then you finally get this ideal relationship that you wanted but then you find that it’s difficult for you to have children. Life is full of ups and downs and there are no guarantees. Only you can decide what is important to you. Is it important for you to have children right now or is it more important for you to be in your ideal relationship? Sometimes, you have to pick and choose. It’s opportunity-cost like I said earlier.
Be patient in order to get the relationship that you want. Ultimately, people don’t get into the relationship that they fantasise about because they’re not being true to themselves and because they are so impatient. They’re not willing to wait for the right time. Now this – you can get the relationship that you want but you must be willing to sacrifice what you must in order to get it.
I hope you found this blog post useful. If you want daily tips from me on how to find happiness while you’re single and how to attract the right man for you, follow me on Instagram by clicking here. Get my free e-books on love and relationships for the single woman over the age of 30 by clicking here.
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