3 things stopping you from finding love (and how to overcome them)

Sometimes, it seems that no matter how much we try, we can’t find true love.  You date guy after guy each one seeming worse than the last or you go so long without a boyfriend you’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to be in a relationship.  It can be disheartening but here’s a bit of good news: it IS possible to get out of that situation and find someone who’ll make you happy.

3 things stopping you from finding love www.lapesoetan.com


If you would like to download a PDF version of this post that you can save to your device and re-read whenever you want, click on the image below.

3 things stopping you from finding love (and how to overcome them) www.lapesoetan.com

To help you get out of that situation where you feel like love is avoiding you, I’ve written 3 things that may be standing in the way of you finding true love and also given ideas of what you can do to overcome them.  Here they are:


1 Not knowing what you want

You might have heard this before but just in case you haven’t, I’ll repeat it here: if you don’t know what you want, you’re not going to get it.  If you don’t know what true love means to you, how will you know when it comes to you?  I know some romantic people out there are thinking, “I’ll know it when I see it” but chances are you won’t.  Or you’ll be side-tracked by less important things.  I’ll give an example.  If you don’t know that you want a man who makes you laugh and a  super-rich, super-unfunny guy walks into your life, you would probably date him.  Maybe even marry him.  Once you do that, I can almost promise that a guy who makes you laugh like there’s no tomorrow will start paying attention to you but by then, it would be too late.  You would be sitting across a dining table from your uncharming husband wondering where you went wrong.  Don’t be that woman.


How to overcome this issue:  Know what you want from your ideal man and relationship.  This should be what YOU want not what your mother or your best friend wants.  Know what you want, write it down and focus on it every day.  It will help bring true love into your life and also help you recognise it when it comes your way.


2 Low self-esteem

If you don’t believe you’re worthy of a great guy and a wonderful relationship, you won’t get it.  Many women think they’re too ugly, too short, too fat, too tall or too something else to get the kind of love they want.  But it’s not true.  Anyone can find love.  You have to be in the right frame of mind to get it though.  Having low self-esteem is a big issue for many women and unfortunately, it’s not something someone else can work on for you.  You have to deal with it yourself.  It’s true that sometimes, someone comes into your life and makes you believe in yourself but that puts you in a powerless position.  You need to be able to build your own confidence and increase your own self-confidence.  That sort of self-development brings pride in yourself and further helps to grow your confidence.  You have to believe in yourself.  You have to decide that you’re worthy of love so that if someone turns up, treats you badly and expects you to accept that kind of behaviour, you’ll have the courage to say “I deserve better.  I don’t want this.  I deserve a man who makes me happy.”  And then do something about it.


How to overcome this issue:  A good way to increase your self-confidence is to list out the things you like about yourself.  It’s easy to say “I hate myself” or “I’m not good at anything” but after that, think some more, take out a piece of paper and write out 10 things you like about yourself.  It could be that you have nice eyes, can draw, always make people feel wanted, are good at maths, always remember people’s names and so on.  Whatever those things are, write them down.  Those are the things that make you unique and will attract your ideal man to you.  Focus on these things every day.  Whenever you feel bad about yourself, go over that list in your mind and know that you are still unique, you are still wonderful and you have everything in you to draw your perfect man into your life.


3 Fear

Everyone is afraid of something.  Even the most confident people feel fear from time to time.  Sometimes, women unknowingly stand in their own way when it comes to love because they keep thinking about the past.  They think about the relationships they had in the past and are like “I thought that was love and it ended.  Maybe I’ll never find love” or they say things like “I had love and he left.  I will never find love like that again” or they think “I’ve never had love.  I’ll never have love.  I’ll be alone forever.”  The basic fear for many women when it comes to relationships is that they’ll never find love and that they’ll be alone forever.  It is that sort of thought that prevents women from finding true love.  They think they won’t ever have love so they settle for whatever comes their way.  If you’re unafraid of being alone, you will not date someone that makes you unhappy or stay with someone that treats you badly.  You will know that whatever happens, you can take care of yourself and that really, it’s only a matter of time before a man who truly loves you will come along.


How to overcome this issue:  One of the best ways to deal with fear is to look it in the eye and deal with it.  If you’re afraid of heights, go to the highest (and safest) place you can find, stand there and see if you survive or not.  If you’re afraid you’ll be alone forever, stay single for a while.  Don’t rush into the next relationship.  Build your self-confidence and get to know what makes you happy.  Build a life you love.  When you do that, you’ll see that being alone is not to be feared.  And if you build a life that makes you happy, soon you’ll find a man that wants to share that life with you.


If you want to learn more about how to deal with low self-esteem, find love and be happy, I can help.  All you need to do is book a 1-on-1 coaching session with me and I’ll help you get the right relationship for you and create a life you love.  Find out my coaching rates by clicking here.   To book a 1 hour one-on-one coaching session with me, send an email to lape(at)lapesoetan(dot)com today.

Fill the form below to get access to my online library packed with FREE e-books, audios and free weekly love tips

* indicates required