Have you ever asked somebody to buy you food and said something like, “Please help me buy jollof rice. If they don’t have jollof rice, buy me beans but it’s jollof rice I really want”? If you’ve ever said anything like that, then you’re treating beans like an option. It’s not really your first choice. I used that example because it’s one most of us can relate to and it’s one that helps illustrate what I’m going to be talking about today. Today, I’m going to be talking about why guys treat you like an option and not a priority.
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For those who don’t already know me, I’m a relationship coach for single women over the age of 30. I help single women over the age of 30 attract and keep the right relationship. You can find out how I help you some more with my coaching, my ebooks and more by clicking here.
In my work as a relationship coach for single women over the age of 30, one of the things I hear over and over again is how some women say that the guy they’re interested in is treating them like an option. He is not treating them like his first choice or like a priority. Today, I’m going to be telling you why that is.
If a man is treating you like an option and not a priority, it is because of one of two reasons. One: he is not really interested in you or two: you have allowed him to treat you like an option and not a priority. These two points are actually quite intertwined. If a guy is not truly interested in you, if he doesn’t think you’re important, he is going to treat you like an option and not a priority. He is going to treat you like beans and not jollof rice like the example I gave at the beginning.
If he treats you like an option. For example, he calls you to come over and spend the night after midnight and even after the sex, he tells you to leave. Or he tells you that he has a girlfriend but still wants to have something with you on the side and you allow him to keep doing this to you. You are allowing his behaviour. You are the one that is allowing him to treat you like an option.
Have you ever heard the idiom ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’? That’s what’s going on here. He has you in a situation that is convenient for him so he doesn’t see any need to fix it or change the situation. What you allow is what you will continue to get so don’t let men continue to treat you like an option. You are not beans. You are jollof rice. Remember that.
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