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When we look back on our lives, there are many things we wish we hadn’t done or mistakes that we made and now regret. There’s no point in moping about what could have been – the past is the past- but there’s a lot to gain from looking at your past, studying your mistakes and learning from them. This is useful in all spheres of life including dating.
I had a few bad (read disastrous) relationships when I was single. At some point, I had had enough. I decided I had to look at my past relationships logically and determine where I had gone wrong and what mistakes I was making. I thought about the relationships I had had – the good ones and the bad ones, the ones I had ended and the ones which had been ended by others and finally, I came to a conclusion. The relationships in which I had been happiest were the ones where I had chosen my partner. In cases where a friend had convinced me someone was good for me or the guy himself had cajoled me into thinking he was ideal, I had wound up unhappy.
After much analysis, I realised that the biggest dating mistake a single woman can make is to go into a relationship with someone simply because they say they like you. Someone saying they like (or even love) you is not enough reason to date them. Even if they’re not just saying it to get into your pants. Even if a guy seems to genuinely like you, it’s not enough reason to go into a relationship with them.
To a certain degree, you have a choice when it comes to love. It makes little sense to date someone just because they say they like you or because you feel sorry for them. If you want to do your bit for charity, give to an orphanage. Don’t sacrifice how you feel in order to make someone else feel better.
If you go into a relationship with someone you don’t truly like,
when the relationship develops problems (like every relationship does), you will either be annoyed or embarrassed by what you gave up to date the person. Trust your own judgment. Trust your instincts. If you feel someone is not for you, don’t date them because of how they feel. Date them because of how you feel. That’s how you’ll remind yourself of the power you have. You’re not just some wishy-washy being waiting to be ‘picked’. You are a powerful person with the right to choose who you love. Protect that power and use it the right way.
Do you want to find love but don’t know what to do? Get details on how you can find love with my book, 7 Steps to Meeting the One. 7 Steps to Meeting the One is a short e-book that serves as a step-by-step guide on how to find the perfect partner for you. You’ve got nothing to lose so try the book today. To buy 7 Steps to Meeting the One, click here. 7 Steps to Meeting the One costs N1,000 (one thousand naira only).