First dates can be nerve-racking. Apart from the normal issues of “What should I wear”, who should pay the bill and “How should I act on this date?”, there is also the worry of “How do I keep this conversation going?” and that’s why I’m here today. Today, I’m going to be talking about how to keep the conversation going on a date.
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In case you didn’t already know or in case you’re new here, I’m a relationship coach for single women over the age of 30. I help single women over 30 attract and keep the right relationship. Most of my tips and advice are for single women over the age of 30. However, if you’re not over 30 or if you’re a man, you might still benefit from my tips so don’t go anywhere yet.
The first thing to realise if you’re nervous about your date is to know that your date is probably just as nervous as you. You are human and so is your date. Nervousness in this situation is normal so don’t fret about it. The second thing you should be aware of if you want to keep conversation going on a date is to focus on the other person not on yourself.
Focus on your date. This has 2 benefits. The first is that when you focus on the other person and not yourself, you’ll be less nervous. You won’t keep fretting and wondering about things like whether you look horrible or whether the other person thinks you’re boring. If you focus on the other person, you’re not going to be thinking negative things about yourself. You just won’t have the time.
The second benefit of focusing on the other person when you’re on a date is that it makes the other person see you in a positive light. It’s a very strange thing but the more attention you pay to the other person, the more they think that you’re interesting and the more they think that you’re attractive. So, when you’re on a date, focus on the other person and don’t let your mind wander off to random things like what you’re going to have for lunch tomorrow. Focus on your date, not on yourself. Those are a few tips on how to have a successful date.
To keep conversation going on a date, the most important thing you can do is to ask open questions. Open questions are questions that cannot be answered with single-word answers like yes, fine or maybe. If you can answer a question with a single word like that, that question is called a closed question.
Examples of closed questions are ‘Do you like your job?’, ‘How was your day today?’ and ‘Do you want to go out again sometime soon?’ Those are examples of closed questions because they can be answered with a single word.
What you want to be using on a date to keep the conversation going are open questions. Examples of open questions are things like ‘What do you like most about your job?’, ‘What is your favourite memory from childhood?’ and ‘What would you like to do on our next date?’ When you ask those kind of questions, the other person has to think about their reply and answer using longer sentences. Those are open questions.
If you like, you can come up with open questions before your date so that when you’re actually on your date, you don’t have to start racking your brain trying to think of open questions you can ask. You would already have a few up your sleeves so to speak and so they would come out easily for you and make you even more comfortable. Asking open questions is the best way to keep the conversation going on a date. Try it on your next date.
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