When I was in secondary school, I remember complaining to my brother who is many many years older than me that I didn’t have a boyfriend. I was so sad about it. You know what he said to me? He said, “Na you go tire.”
And do you know what? He was right. Because by the time I started having boyfriends and going through heartache and pain, I was like “Are you kidding? Is this what I would have been going through when I was a teenager? I would have been going through all this pain? Thank God it didn’t happen!” Even though it doesn’t feel like it, being single can be a time of peace.
So, tips from my brothers, from other people and from my own experience are included in this video. Today, I’m going to be sharing the best advice I’ve ever received about being single.
To watch the video, click on the image below.
Prefer to read rather that watch the video? Here’s what’s in it:
The 1st advice I have about being single is to realise that it’s a phase. I know that when you’re stuck in the desert of being single, it can feel like you’ll be lost there forever but you won’t. The truth is that most people in this world get married at some point in time or if they don’t get married, they get into some sort of permanent relationship. It is the rare person who lives into their 70s or 80s who has never been married or never been in a steady or permanent relationship. It’s rare. So relax, knowing that this phase, if it’s one that you hate is one that will soon pass.
The 2nd piece of advice I have about being single is that if you hate it, take action. It would surprise you the number of women who tell me that they don’t like being single but are simply not taking any action about it. Or if they take action, they try something, it doesn’t work and they give up. Why? Why do you do that?
Imagine you’re hungry and you want to be full. So what do you do? You go and find something to eat. You don’t just sit down knowing that there’s food within reach and just keep saying, “Oh gosh! I wish I were full. I wish I were full.” You get up, you take action and you eat something! And if you eat something and in an hour’s time, you’re hungry again, you eat some more!
Or let me use another example – unemployment. There are many people who look for jobs and don’t find them but they don’t stop. They keep trying, they keep applying, they keep going for interviews, they keep telling people they’re looking for a job, they keep on doing things that they hope will bring them towards that job of their dreams or the career of their dreams.
And do you know what? Eventually, they get the job that they want or they find work somehow or they start working for themselves. They get what they want because they never stop trying. It’s the same with love and relationships. If you don’t like being single, you have to keep trying until you get what it is that you want.
I think what stands in the way of many women when it comes to finding the right relationship is an embarrassment and what I call the Disney factor. We’re embarrassed to be seen to be looking for love or actively searching for it. We secretly hope that like in a Disney movie, some rich prince will ride up, come and kiss us awake and take us away from all our problems.
But that doesn’t happen in real life. It rarely does happen. I mean, even in Pretty Woman, she was working when the guy found her, you know. She was looking for something. In real life, you have to keep trying. You have to keep going and eventually, you’ll get what it is that you’re looking for.
The 3rd piece of advice I have about being single is to enjoy it! Like I said earlier, being single is not going to last forever. There are many many things that you will NOT be able to do when you get married or when you’re in a permanent relationship so now is the time to do them.
Think about all the things you hope to achieve in your life and start doing them now. Don’t wait until you find the right guy or until you get married or anything like that. Start doing them now! You will never be younger than you are today so start trying to fulfill your dreams and like Oprah says, ‘Live your best life now’.
I really do hope that these tips have helped you. If you want more tips from me on love and relationships, every single day, follow me on Instagram. I’ve written a ton of e-books for single women over the age of 30. My e-books talk about love, relationships, how to be happy while you’re single and how to find the right person for you. If you want to get them free of charge, click here.
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