Are you too independent to be in a relationship?


Is it possible to be too independent to be in a relationship?  That’s the topic of today’s video!


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Can a woman be too independent to be in a relationship?  This topic came about because recently, I was talking to a woman and she said that her last relationship ended because the guy said he felt irrelevant in her life.  He felt she was too independent and he couldn’t handle it so he left.


So, back to the question at hand:  can a woman be too independent to be in a relationship?  The short answer is ‘no’.  Women fought a long time to become independent.  This independence is something that should be celebrated and protected.  Independence is a good thing, particularly when it comes to financial and emotional independence.  It means that you have more choices in life.  You can take decisions you want AND also take responsibility for those decisions.  Essentially, independence needs to be seen as something positive even when it comes to relationships.


One thing we all need to realise is that even if you’re an independent woman, someone will love you the way you are.  There’s a man out there who will think your independence is sexy and will fall crazily in love with you as a result.  Be patient and wait for that man.


When that person comes into your life, you will both be happy.  However, what if one day, that guy comes to you and says he loves you but he wants to feel more like he’s a part of your life.  He tells you that at the moment, he feels you do everything without him and he wants to be more involved in your life.  How do you handle that situation?


The thing is to realise that when you love someone, first of all, you listen to them.  If he is saying he wants to be more relevant in your life, please make space for him in your life.  If this is someone you love, you’re going to want to please them.  Please them in such a way that you both win.  Give a little room.  Discuss decisions with him. Ask his opinion on things going on in your life.  This is a way to show love.


Think about it.  If he took decisions in your relationship or in his own life without letting you know, how would you feel?  You wouldn’t be happy.  In the same way, give him that pleasure of knowing that he’s important to you and that his opinion counts.


Bottom line, if you’re in a relationship with someone you love and the person wants to be more involved in your life, please make space for them.  That’s all from me today.  I hope you see that being independent is NOT a bad thing even if you’re a woman and if you’re independent, you can still be in a relationship that makes you happy.

If you would like personalised help from me to help you find true love or improve your relationship, book a coaching session with me.  Find out my coaching rates by clicking here then send me an email using lape(at)lapesoetan(dot)com

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Leave a comment below and tell me:

  • What was your favourite part of this video?
  • How do you think being independent affects women in relationships?