5 relationship mistakes single women make

You know the great thing about mistakes?  Everyone makes them!  And when it comes to relationships, the mistakes we make are even more interesting/ amusing/ disastrous than those made in other spheres of life.  Another thing about mistakes is that people generally make the same ones, over and over again.  It’s like a crazy cycle.

5 relationship mistakes single women make www.lapesoetan.com

The third and possibly the most important point about mistakes is that you don’t have to make your own.  I mean, you will, there’s no doubt about that but you can greatly reduce the number of mistakes and therefore the amount of pain you endure in this life.  How?  By learning from other people’s mistakes.  It’s simple and makes so much sense.  Why go through pain and suffering when someone else has gone through it for you? 😉

In the spirit of being benevolent, I’m going to tell you some of the biggest relationship mistakes I made as a single woman and some of the ones I’ve seen other single women make.  Please learn from our mistakes.  Don’t let the tears we’ve shed in the past be in vain.

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Here they are, the commonest relationship mistakes single women make:

1 Dating someone because they like you

For a relationship to succeed, both people involved must like each other.  It only makes sense.  However, going into a relationship on the basis that the other person likes you, even when you feel zero for them, is a bad idea.  Some people believe that the feeling will come but does it really?  And is it a worthy risk to take?  If you go into a relationship with someone you don’t care for, you will probably be unkind to them thus breaking one of the most basic rules of life which is to treat others the way you want to be treated.  Even if you’re kind to the other person, when they upset you (as they will because everyone upsets their partner at some point or the other), you will regret going into that relationship.  Save yourself the shame and sadness that can come from that kind of relationship and avoid dating someone just because they like you.

2 Dating someone because someone else thinks they are right for you

This point and the first one are similar.  In both situations, you date a person based on someone else’s opinion.  I have noticed that people often recommend a woman dates a guy because they (the recommender) thinks the guy fits the ‘right’ model approved by society or because he is the kind of guy they would date themselves.  What I learned the hard way is that other people’s (even friends’) opinions of the kind of man that would make me happy is quite different from what I KNOW is the kind of man that would make me happy.  In addition, some people seem to like the idea of being matchmakers.  They know two single people and pair them up not giving any thought to the personalities of those people.  The result?  Disaster.  Before you date someone that has been recommended to you by someone else, make sure the matchmaker knows the other person very well and you even better.

3 Dating out of loneliness or fear

Being a single woman, especially when you’re over 30, can be lonely.  In order to deal with the loneliness, you have to go within, ask yourself what makes you happy (apart from being in a relationship) and begin to add those things into your life.  If you feel lonely or are afraid that you’ll be alone forever  and then start dating someone for that reason, you’re likely to make a mistake simply because you’re coming from a place of weakness.  You are fearful and your judgment of other people’s personality will be poor.  Don’t date someone just to avoid being alone.  No matter how lonely you get, wait until you meet someone you feel is right for you.  It’ll be worth it in the end.

4 Dating someone for money

I never dated anyone for money but perhaps I stayed in a relationship longer than I should have because of his money – and because of kind, wonderful mother (but that is another story).  When you date someone for money, you are the person with less power in the relationship and you both know it.  The other person will remind you over and over again that they have power over you.  If you’re okay with this, that’s fine but I wonder how happy a person can be if they are constantly made to feel small.  I had a friend who dated a guy because his father had a l-o-o-o-o-t of money.  Whenever they had a fight, no matter whose fault it was, she had to apologise for the relationship to return to normal.  It was clear she wasn’t happy but she stayed in the relationship and cheated often because she wanted to find happiness somewhere.  Today, they are married but guess what?  Nothing has changed.  She is still unhappy.  Don’t make the same mistake she did.

5 Dating someone to feel good about yourself

If someone has low self-esteem (and many of us women have that issue), sometimes, they go into a relationship in the hope that the other person will make them feel better.  On the surface, it makes sense but if you dig deeper, you’ll find that such a person would be relying on their partner for their self-worth.  The person may be happy to bolster your ego at the beginning but what if they get tired of it?  What if they put you down?  Will you have the confidence to stand up for yourself?  In relationships like this, the person with low self-esteem starts to see themselves the way the other person describes them.  So if they say, “You’re stupid.  You can never run a successful business.” or “Look at you!  Do you think anyone will ever find you attractive?”, you’ll start to wonder if they are right.  Don’t date someone because you hope they will make you feel good about yourself.  Feel good about yourself and then date someone.  That is more likely to lead to a happy relationship.


Have you made any of these relationship mistakes in the past?  Do you feel you’ve made so many relationship mistakes in the past that you’ll never be happy?  It’s not true.  If finding love is what you want, you can get it and I can help you.  Send me an email lape(at)lapesoetan(dot)com to book a 1-on-1 coaching session with me and I can help set you on the path to finding true love.


Remember, you can download the audio version of this post by clicking on the image below.  (Clicking on the image will take you to a form you’ll need to fill to get your freebie.)

click here to download the audio version of this post www.lapesoetan.com

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