A lot of the time, we see being single as a phase to go through before getting married. And perhaps that’s what it is. The problem arrives when we see that time of our lives as a phase that must be tolerated and rushed through. We have to learn to stop seeing it that way. We often tell children and teenagers to enjoy that time of their lives for it will soon be gone. Why do we not tell ourselves the same thing when we’re single? After all, for most people, being single is not something that will last forever. If you think about the fact that you might be married for 20, 30 or more years, shouldn’t we realise that being single is a short period in our lives and is one which should be enjoyed because it will soon be gone? If we continue to treat the interval when we’re single as a time of torture, we will never be happy. Let us treat the period when we are single as a time to be enjoyed not endured. To help with that, here are 5 essential things to do while single. You might not get the opportunity when you get into a relationship so now is the time. Do these 5 things and watch your life expand with joy.
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As promised, here are 5 essential things you need to do while you’re single:
There’s nothing quite like seeing a new place, especially if you’re alone. The sense of confidence you get from going to a place where you know no-one and somehow manage to enjoy yourself is a feeling that cannot be gotten from any other adventure. Even if you’re shy, travel whenever you have the opportunity. Sometimes, people say money is the issue but perhaps it isn’t. I’ve lost count of the number of maids or domestic helps I’ve seen on the plane going to Dubai or some other place. They didn’t pay for their tickets, accommodation or anything. I’m not saying you should become a house-help. I’m saying you should dream. Imagine that it is possible to holiday in an exotic part of the world and it could happen. By the way, travelling doesn’t only mean outside the country. I live in Lagos and will never forget my trips to Calabar. Calabar taught me that it’s possible for people to be kind to each other, even in a traffic jam. So travel when you can. Travel while single.
2 Cook for yourself
In this part of the world, it is expected that when a woman marries, she will handle the cooking in the house. Somehow, many women have gotten it into their minds that if you’re not cooking for a man or your children, there’s no point. But there IS a point. You’re human and you deserve good food too! I know a woman who is a great cook but barely cooks because she’s not married and she says there’s no point in going to all that trouble for herself. What kind of message are you sending to your sub-conscious with that kind of behaviour? You’re saying you’re not worthy of something as basic as your own cooking! If you won’t treat yourself with love, why should anyone else? Please cook for yourself from time to time. The interesting thing is that because you’re single, you can go all out and experiment. Try new spices, go on the internet and search for new recipes you can try. If your culinary adventure doesn’t turn out well, who cares? No one else will know and it would have been worth the try. Besides, you might find that you like cooking (or eating exotic food) and it could lead to a new career. You just never know so get on Pinterest and start downloading recipes today!
3 Take yourself out
I remember a young woman telling me about a cool new restaurant that had just opened. When I asked if she had been to the restaurant, she said no that she was waiting for a guy to take her there. I wonder how long she waited. This type of thinking genuinely perplexes me. If you really want to go somewhere or do something, do it! Don’t wait for permission or for a guy to take you there. Only the other day, I remembered how when I was young and broke (as most young people are), my friends and I would pool our money together and go to restaurants or bars. There are so many advantages to doing that. One, you’ll have amazing fun with friends. Two, you won’t have to worry about having to dodge roaming hands because a guy bought your meal. And three, you’ll have a story to entertain people with for years to come. So go on, take yourself out. Do it while you’re free and single.
4 Date whoever you want
When most people get married, they hope it will be for life so with marriage comes the end of any possibility of dating anyone apart from your partner. I know some women say they don’t want to date several people. They want to meet a guy in secondary school or university and marry him when they’re 24. I also know that what many women say in public and what they want deep inside are sometimes different. I’ve met women who tell me that while they’re happy they’re married, they wish they had dated more before getting married. Now, that door is closed and they wonder what might have been and wish they had had a bit of an adventure in their love lives before they got married. Don’t be one of those women. It’s better to date someone and regret it that marry someone and regret it. Don’t blindly follow the unwritten rules of society. Think for yourself and make your own decisions.
5 Spend time with loved ones
Once you get into a relationship, despite the best of intentions, you’ll find that you have less time to spend with friends, family and loved ones in general. You might not mean to but over time, you’ll find that you see the people you care about less and less. This is particularly true of married women. You might be single now but it may not always be that way so enjoy the many hours you and your friend spend talking about celebrities and cherish the moments when your annoying little sister comes to tell you about playground drama. You might not get the chance to experience those moments when you get into a relationship. Enjoy them while you’re single.
If you want to find your ideal partner and you’ve tried everything you can think of but still haven’t gotten anywhere, now would be a good time to try a coaching session with me. Find out my coaching rates by clicking here. To take up one of my coaching packages, send an email to lape(at)lapesoetan(dot)com The first session of 30 minutes is free!